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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Help me learn what to think during major tantrums"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What’s your immediate reaction to her hitting or screaming? [/quote] I try for all the stuff that the books say -- [b]emotional validation and setting clear boundaries[/b]. Stay calm myself, hold her, talk through it, help her calm down. The problem is that sometimes my own thoughts about me (or her) being messed up, broken, or a failure make this impossible and then I'll scream myself or say something mean like "You are such a terrible kid". Which is why I posted asking what good parents with difficult kids tell themselves in their heads to avoid losing their cool. [/quote] OP this is 11:58. You're having these thoughts because you don't have enough tools and skills to do the bolded. Get the tools and skills, and your emotions won't overcome you. [/quote]
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