Reply to I really dislike my SIL. How to improve my attitude?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what do you not like about her?

I don't like my SIL's loudness and her speaking over me when I'm talking.  To think, she's a teacher and she cuts off her students when they talk.  [/quote]

She's very fearful that something will happen to her toddler all the time, even just playing with blocks on the floorI feel bad for her but the idea of our having children around the same time bringing us closer has evaporated. She's tense all the time and every conversation is an opportunity for some inexplicable miscommunication, even an irrelevant conversation about which cheese to serve. It's walk on eggshells all the time.  But then she has moments of lashing out with overconfidence to tell others they are wrong. It's just draining draining draining.

To the other PP, I don't hate her and I am asking for advice to improve the situation. What is your point?[/quote]

It feels draining because you're getting sucked in.  Remember -- her fears, anxiety and tensions do not need to be yours.  Let her be stressed and fearful.  Stop trying to prevent or fix it by "walking on eggshells" around her.  Just be you and let her be her.  For example, when she's tense or lashes out, just let it roll off your back.  It's not your responsibility or problem to avoid or fix.  (Repeat to yourself, "Yep.  That's just SIL being SIL again.  Maybe she'll lighten up someday.")

P.S.  It's time to accept that having kids at the same time has not brought you closer as you had hoped.  It would have been nice.  But it didn't happen.  So let go of that dream, at least for now.  It's not happening.
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