Reply to Are most marriages just meh after 10-20 years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It depends.  Marriage is something both spouses need to value and work at.  A friend who does marriage counseling summed it up for me---after 20 years and hitting the empty nest stage, most couples fall into three categories:  (1) those who divorce; (2) those who stay married but basically live separate lives or (3) those who  jointly embark on marriage 2.0---a conscious reinvigoration of marriage once you are in empty nest mode.  I will observe that out of my friends (we are all 50 somethings), those who had parents who stayed married and achieved the marriage 2.0 paradigm have also managed to stay married. 
 [/quote]

Marriage therapists only see a very unusual sample: They don't see the vast majority of people who don't seek counseling.

Maybe this is different, but in general distributions tend to be normally distributed. For example, some people are introverted and others extraverted, but if you graph it, most people are in the middle, and only a few are at the extremes:

[img]https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Jichang-Zhao/publication/315456499/figure/fig1/AS:613992892473363@1523398721766/The-distribution-of-scores-on-extraversion-from-self-reports-of-293-valid-samples.png[/img]

I bet marriage satisfaction is the same: Most people are somewhat happy, with lives that are neither completely intermeshed nor totally separate, with some people at the extremes - separate lives and happy, separate and unhappy, completely reinvigorated, etc.
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