Reply to S/O--there is never a need to argue with another adult or engage in "conflict"

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Reply to "S/O--there is never a need to argue with another adult or engage in "conflict""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Controlling people start "conflict" and "arguments" to agressively demand that someone do what they want, and when the other person chooses not to engage in the manipulation tactic, they claim the other person is avoidant, not able to handle conflict, and not able to handle communication.

What you can do instead of ask someone if they'd like to do something calmly, in a non passive agressive or aggressive manner, and the other person can say yes or no. That's it. You can restate your cause, maybe one or two times, again, in a non passive aggresive or non aggresive manner, but that's it.

This is what I expect. I don't argue or engage in "conflict" with other adults.[/quote]

Huh??  How do you resolve anything?  Just walk away and never do anything?

I have to advocate for myself and my kids all the time. At work, at school, at sports, at conflicts that pop up.  That’s life.

Otherwise I wouldn’t get promoted, my kid wouldn’t get into a certain program, and our bball coach wouldn’t have stayed.

Conflict resolution matters.  Yes walk away from madmen, but don’t avoid conflicts / stonewall / silent treatment and deem that winning.   [/quote]

I would imagine sometimes you get what you want with this approach and sometimes you don't--yes, some succumb to being browbeat--I don't.

I will have discussions. I won't argue or stand and sit be told the same thing over and over and over again, with a raised or angry voice. When that happens I will walk away. [/quote]

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