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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our child is currently a freshman at a Tt private in manhattan, and they have a few particular talents (athletic and academic) that we all felt would be better pursued in a boarding school environment given the quality sports and facilities which rival some of the best colleges in the world.

They were admitted to a bunch, but they decided Andover was the best fit. It’s a month later now, and they’re no longer sure if he wants to go away. Money is not an issue - we don’t need deposit back, but we’re not quite sure how to handle this. Partner and I believe it’s cold feet, anxiety, and a bit of fomo/leaving his friends, but we’re also pretty certain that Andover will make him happier and allow him to better pursue the things he loves.

Has anyone been in this situation? Any wisdom to impart?[/quote]

This is tough. I assume you/he thinks he is good enough in his sport to potentially get recruited to play in college? Does he actually want to play said sport in college? Is he otherwise happy at his current school?

If you have laid out all the potential benefits of boarding school athletic or otherwise, and the "downsides" of staying at his TT city private, and he still doesn't want to go, then personally, I would let him stay in his current school.[/quote]

OP here: objectively - this isn’t meant to sound like humblebrag - he’s talented enough to play in college - he’s been playing up an age group for independent teams outside of school, been selected for national showcase tournament things, and he’s already drawn interest from schools. He loves both sports he plays, one a bit more than the other, but Andover is strong in both. And yes, he is happy at his current school, but he acknowledges the limitations it may have on his athletic development. Obviously, academics either way are fantastic.

We’ve had a few serious conversations about it, and my partner and I are trying to avoid taking a strong position, but this is what we’re certain of: his athletic progress will be stunted if he stays at his school, which is fine if that’s what he wants. If he does stay at his school and pursues sports at a higher level (a much-discussed option), the commitment will be infinitely greater - the club teams he would play for are all outside of manhattan, practice multiple times a week, chaotic game schedule with huge travel times, etc. - which might mean his school work and other ec’s would suffer, and to potentially mortgage a piece of his future this way may be unwise. There are other areas in which he has certain gifts, and pursuing athletics like this would eat into that time commitment.

Let me say quickly: we’re so proud of him no matter what he chooses, and we’re grateful that he’s turned into the young man he has. We’re doing our best to be an objective sounding board for him. But late at night, when my partner and I discuss it, we think that Andover would not only be a better place for him to develop, but somewhere he may actually be happier all around. It would be a shame for him to miss the opportunity simply because he’s comfortable/worried about change, which we think is the most likely cause for his hesitation.[/quote]

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