Reply to No Meds/No Follow Up for Alzheimer’s

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[quote=Anonymous]Frustrated and need to vent.

Just learned that despite my MIL getting a dementia diagnosis well over two years ago, my FIL has decided to take no further action on her behalf. None. No follow up memory assessments, refused cholesterol lowering meds (she had sky-high cholesterol for three years prior to diagnosis), no studies (he reached out to one OOS connection, a relative, who said she wouldn’t qualify) and no outside help. He’s 80, she’s 76.

Also, we as a family are not to discuss her obvious condition. Very much a secret.

Still in their large old house with stairs and clutter.

FIL refusing all offers of help and DH seems to be fine with this - says he doesn’t want to “push” yet his dad is the sole caretaker, driver, cook, shopper, lawn care worker…all with MIL at his side. FIL has aged considerably and it is affecting his health but whole family is delusional and ill prepared.

I seem to be the only one concerned here and have done some research on adult day care, a local gerontologist, in home care and shared all with DH but every week I hear “next week I’ll talk to my dad about it” and then nothing happens.

Been down this road with my own late parents (planning, selling my childhood home, moving them to CCRC, getting in home care, accompanying them to doc appointments). Just hard to watch knowing there are no safety nets, no plans, nothing.

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