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[quote=Anonymous]I did this when my H wasn’t having sex with me.

The upsides:
- I regained self-esteem
- That caused me to start losing weight, dressing better, performing better at work, and getting back into my hobbies/interests.
- I was a better parent
- This all lead H to becoming interested in me again and reignited our sex life.

I did have a lot of resentment after that - how me sacrificing everything for the family made him lose interest, and it was only when I shifted my energy and focus that he saw me as desirable again. Took me a long time to get over that.

The downsides:
- I started fantasizing about leaving H to be with AP, which was unrealistic and I wouldn’t have done, but the fantasy alone scared me
-AP started pushing me heavily to either visit him or let him visit me. Was terrified he would show up at our door.
-  When things got better with H, I ended the sex part of the relationship with AP. I was terrified for awhile he would send evidence to H or blackmail me (he didn’t, but the fear was there).

AP wasn’t crazy or anything, just a much younger single guy who thought he loved me. So I was worried what he would do, especially since I told him the bad things about H.

I can’t honestly say I wish I hadn’t done it. I do think it’s an enormous boost to self-esteem and helps you improve. I never would have lost weight and increased my salary if I was doing it because “maybe” H would want sex with me someday.

Just be smart. Don’t have your face in video. If you have tattoos, mole, or anything identifiable, cover them up. If you can, get a separate phone and phone line and hide them well. [/quote]

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