Reply to How you redistributed the weight of the relationship?

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH was carrying a much heavier load for a few years while I struggled with bad health issues and mental health issues after having Covid. I finally got a concierge doctor who literally figured everything out that my doctor in the past had ignored and I'm so much better -- almost completely better. So things have shifted toward me taking my share of the load. He still handles more than I do, always has, but he's not limping along having to handle 95% of our life.

Things were really rough for awhile and this took a toll on our marriage even though he was very kind and never complained. But we are our happy selves again now. I'll add that we have been together 22 years, and were always a very happy couple before the tough times hit -- I think that context matters.

So for us the shift was because health issues were the reason things were uneven, and then the health issues got fixed. For things to shift, you need a fixable problem. A partner who has just never pulled their weight? Probably not at all fixable. [/quote]

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