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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously, what your parents want should rule. 
If you can arrange [b]a roster of vistors,[/b] living far away shouldn't be a deal breaker, if you can make phone calls/FaceTime meaningful. Frankly, that would make your in-person visits special. 
[/quote]

If you have her in assisted living in my experience it's safer and more socially engaging, though there is an adjustment period where you may feel awful for pushing it. It's much easier when they are agree right off the bat. It's not all sunshine and roses, they see people get ill and lose friends, but there are so many social activities and they always have people to eat with and people who will notice if they don't show up for a meal. I found it's also easier to have others visit the AL. When they age in place, my experience has been there is more hesitancy because the person is more likely to be needy-not as much social interaction with peers and it can be depressing. Visiting AL is less stressful because you can go sit in a garden area, the person has peers greeting them and isn't complaining about being lonely (though may complain about peers/foot/staff) and it's easier to make an excuse to leave.

Also, I found it helpful to be so grateful to anyone who visited even once. I personally found it unrealistic to schedule "a roster of visitors." If friends want to visit they will, same with family. You can't really dictate it, even with your own siblings. People will offer to help, but keep expectations low. If you parent is very pleasant, you probably won't even need to think about this because people will enjoy visiting. It's more if the parent becomes more difficult/agitated or even if the parent is nice, but childlike and needy. Sometimes their friends don't want to be reminded of what their own future may hold and they know they only have so much time left and don't want to spend it being brought down. [/quote]

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