Reply to How to tell spouse their social media use is out of hand?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's an addiction, same as gambling, drugs, etc.

Nobody can really give you any advice. Addicts are hard to reach and slow to change, if they ever do.

Either live with it, or make an ultimatum. [/quote]

Well, you don’t typically say nothing until your spouse is a full blown addict, there are usually points at which you can intervene before they hit rock bottom.

Being less than present on a regular basis seems a little early to tell her she needs rehab for Instagram or we’re getting divorce.

Thanks for being productive tho.[/quote]

There is no defining line for what constitutes an "addiction", it varies by person.

Refusing to admit a person is an addict is enabling their addiction. [/quote]

"Be productive or go somewhere else lady." [/quote]

Basically saying the same thing as being an addict. You could try being that blunt, but do you really want to ruin a marriage with that sort of ultimatum? Perhaps a little more tact in addressing the addiction at first. [/quote]

OP here... yes, that's what I'm asking for... advice on how to bring up my concerns in a way that is not "i think you're basically a drunk and i'm going to divorce you if you don't clean up". [/quote]

Since the definition of a process addiction is a process (versus substance) that you use in a way that interferes with daily life and happiness, focus on that. "Yesterday evening I couldn't help but notice you were on your phone while the kids were getting ready for bed. And when you put the phone down to tuck Larla in you seemed distracted. I'm wondering if the phone is causing that distraction."

Or you can do the "I" statements. You know, "I miss the connection we had before Instagram Reels became such a big part of our family lives. I know I had to delete the app because they can be so appealing to scroll through. I would love to spend more social media free time with you. Is there a way we can work together to enable that?"[/quote]

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