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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds like he’s cheating, particularly with unable to take a day off or help—then being a critical a-hole. That is exactly how my ex acted when he was looking online for an affair/in an affair.  We were re-doing the backyard, building a patio and he wouldn’t be around or give input and then when I’d make a choice he’d go on a serious rant and complain. It was disorienting.  It’s only with hindsight I could when the behavior started/was going on.  At the time I was so busy running everything along with my own job—I was walking on eggshells and exhausted. FWIW, several of the cheating/divorces in our neighborhood were at the time of a new house, shortly thereafter. Ironically, the woman he had the affair with had just moved into a new McMansion.. [/quote]

And OP this:
“Meanwhile, DH is crazy aggressive about homework and accomplishments and very house-proud, but doesn’t put the work into supporting..”
 Was exactly how he acted. It’s a form of narcissism—the house, the kids, the wife are all to make him look good externally. I bet he takes credit for everything good that happens (even if it was you) and blames you for everything that doesn’t. It got to the point mine would say something was his idea or he picked it out and took the compliments and actually convince himself it was true—I had nothing to do with it. [/quote]

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