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[quote=Anonymous]This is going to sound like a small petty example, but it’s relevant because DH has a longstanding pattern of putting in zero effort to figuring stuff out but then criticizing things that don’t involve him well after the fact.

We just moved locally. It has been absolutely draining and exhausted every bit of executive functioning I have. DH insisted he could not take one day off even though we both work, so I have been juggling scattered days off, keeping a normal routine for the kids, and packing and unpacking the house. (Don’t ask why we didn’t pay for packing and unpacking- the move contract was the one thing he handled and he insisted he had it in the contract but the movers “just left it out”. No, it was not in the contract, but thank god I had packed almost everything in the house save for DH’s stuff).

The kids insist on using traditional pencils for school and we moved a crank pencil sharpener from one spot in the old house to the same room in the new house. I did this on day 2 of the new house so they could finish homework.

2 months later, DH walked out of the room asking why did I just put the pencil sharpener and he hates it and it looks so dumb and why would I do that. I said that the children chose the location as logical for them and one they could reach, they had urgent homework to finish, and it was also the only place where we wouldn’t need to install a separate mounting plate or worry about anchors pulling out of the drywall.

He freaked out and said it isn’t fair and he hates seeing it there. For the record, it’s a corner that is “my” space within a larger room, and he has an entire office that is “his”.

The room will be redone in 1-2 years once we build our savings up, so it’s not even like it is a fancy or nice room that has its atmosphere ruined by the implied thought of pencils. DH also doesn’t spend time in there nor take care of packing school bags or checking homework.

So WHY does he think he gets to barrel in with Monday morning quarterbacking when he hasn’t lifted a finger to unpack or configure the new house?

I’m trying to see it from his perspective because my instinct is to say something really awful to him and start a blowup fight about the move and his general non-participation, and I don’t have the time for that.[/quote]

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