Reply to Sibling doesn't reciprocate

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[quote=Anonymous]I posted before but OP as others have said you can't control her, but you can control you and it may be worth exploring your own behavior here.

You are presumably a middle age woman complaining to mom and dad about your sister and you want strangers to know they agree that your sister is controlling. Don't interfere with other people's relationships as adults. That is controlling. What outcome were you hoping for? Did you need reassurance your sister is the wrong one or did you want them to force her to see you more. None of that is healthy.

Why did you hype everything up to your kids? Why did you keep buying gifts for and sending personal letters to someone who made it clear through actions she did not want them. (No thank you or reciprocity). You said she was open to visits, but she had "restricted parameters." Those are called boundaries. You don't seem to respect them, but instead complain about them.

The overall gist I get is that you struggle with boundaries. You triangulate your parents. You struggle to accept your sister saying "no" or setting limits and you call her the controlling one and don't seem to think you are doing anything uncomfortable.[/quote]

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