Reply to Sibling doesn't reciprocate

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I know it's painful, but you have to accept reality. She's not that interested. Also, you are being controlling as well. you have rigid ideas about what the family should be like and you were trying to push this agenda. Then there are these dramatics about you and your kids being devastated. You insist you didn't want anything "crazy" just x, y and z, but yet her boundaries seem to drive you crazy.

Lower your expectations, don't try to drag your parents into this (triangulation) and accept reality. Also perhaps examine all your underlying expectations of what a family "should be." I assume there wasn't much of a foundation in childhood if you see yourself as doormat and she was bossy. It was unrealistic to assume you could be close if she over the years she didn't show interest.

That all said, you are allowed to have your own boundaries. If you feel used comforting her during hard times, figure out what feels OK to you. If all you can handle is sending a card or texting back "That sounds really tough" than just do that.[/quote]

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