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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am headed towards a divorce at the age of 45. Two kids and husband is showing signs of being bipolar - he leaves us then comes back, wants a divorce then doesn't, stops answering his phone, etc. Any advice you wish you had before you went through a divorce (ex. wait a year to move, I wish we had approached the kids this way, etc). I am at a loss as to how to go about this and am feeling really overwhelmed. [/quote]

DO NOTHING. SAY NOTHING TO HIM.

Start ignoring him back.

Set up your life to function without him - nannies, sitters, friend groups, family, etc.  Fill them all in on his mental issues and incapacities.

Stop covering for him in the house and out of the house.

Meet with a few divorce attorneys to understand likely outcome. Goal should be to mediate.  Get financies in order, get your own bank account going.

Get the kids independent and communicate to them their father's mental issues, Set boundaries. Get them a therapist so they don't lap up what little attention them do get from him or seek other men.

Get a Phd level trauma therapist or one well versed or published in Cluster B or ASD/ Bipolar / Borderline disorders.  Read books on AS/ NT relationships. 
You have to detach emotionally from the relationship and from expecting normal behavior from him.

Be civil and upbreat with him, but in a Gray Rock type way. Give him NO ammo to argue.

He sounds too wishy washy to file for divorce so he may continue to try his passive aggressive approach. Ask him what he's hiding sicne it doesn't make sense. But be ready for anything. He's proven irrational. Knowing your legal options and the steps will help you make peace with his irrationalness. [/quote]

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