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[quote=Anonymous]And they live on a place that isn’t easy to get to, expensive to get to, and not a place you, your spouse nor your kids care to visit (boring suburb with strip malls), how you handle visits?

We live a six hour plane ride away. No hotels nearby where they live, so we stay with them but it’s miserable (lots of bickering, loud TV, shoddy house). DH never liked them much, either because of their behavior. He’d rather we spend our time off taking our kids on nice vacations. I can’t blame him. I do, too.

They can definitely afford to move to a nicer area and pay for a retirement community in a better climate but that ship has sailed, and I think they’re headed to this sad nondescript assisted living facility in the cheap part of their area five minutes from their home where they’ve lived for the last 55 years (they’ve talked about it). That’s their choice, I get it. But let’s face it. I’m not spending $3k and all my vacation time flying out there and never enjoying time off with my kids to sit in a town I never even liked. I don’t have great memories really, either.

I have one sibling in her early 50s who lives closer to them, about half an hour away, but I hate to foist everything on her because she’s getting her life together nicely after divorce and unemployment. She’s enjoying dating again and has some terrific things on the horizon, quite frankly, and getting too involved with our elderly parents will most likely derail these things.

So, what to do? Let them land where they will and hire help? [/quote]

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