Reply to Where to retire ? Near friends or in another state near children?

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[quote=Anonymous]Wherever you retire just have reasonable expectations and do it because you enjoy being there not because you are figuring out who will give you free labor. If you move near kids you still need to make friends. They may be able to help you for a while, but understand they may develop their own health issues or have other stressors or need to move due to work. Move because you enjoy seeing them and will bloom where you are planted and make friends, not because they will feel the most obligated to drive you to appointments and be there for every emeregncy.

Same with friends. If it brings you joy to be around them, move near friends. You still need to make more friends. They could move. They could become ill. Don't live near friends because they are more likely to bring you casseroles or drive you to appointments.

We all need plan for aging. This means living in appropriate settings where we PAY for appropriate care. We cannot even assume our spouse will be well enough to drive us for every procedure. Be willing to hire someone for this and have an aide.

I have seen this in our family. Sometimes for years you can rely on others, but it should not your goal and you shouldn't feel entitled because people have their own medical issues too and people reach their limit where it's all give and they want to enjoy their retirement too.

Enjoy your friends and family. Cherish the good things and be grateful for the help they provide, but don't expect it and feel entitled to their frequent sacrifices.

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