Reply to Catching myself being impatient and mean to elderly mom

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[quote=Anonymous]I love her so much but living with our family is ruining our relationship; we never had a “true” warm and fuzzy one in the first place. It’s more obligation and empathy, culture too- I’m asian.

I just never get anytime to myself and her living with us drives me crazy. I have two teens in the house and my husband is very needy too. I’ve been mean to her and dismissive to her lately. It’s been more pronounced since I found out she donates all her money to her Church which she could have used towards an apartment. I advised her to change her ways because she may have to move to a nursing home one day when we downsize.  I felt horrible saying that but I’m at older mom, 60 with health issues and I’m tired of all the care keeping that I do.  She’s 88 and extremely healthy probably going to out live me. I told her to go “visit” my younger brother, hint, hint.

I’m starting to not feel guilty about being mean and wanting anything to do with her. I wonder how others deal with this type living situation without resentment.[/quote]

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