Reply to Christmas and Blended Families

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Christmas and Blended Families"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]If you're a blended family, do you coordinate gifts between the two sets of parents? How does it work for you? This is my 5th year buying for my stepson and I am at a loss of what to get him because as usual, his mother is shooting down every idea we have. I am at the point where I would just like DH to quit running our ideas by her and we just get DSS what we want. A few years ago, I wanted to get him an iPod. DH called the ex wife and asked her what she thought. She gave him some song and dance about how DSS wouldn't use it. Last year, I decided to get him one finally and surprise surprise- he loves it.

This year, I wanted to get him a laptop. Nothing fancy, just something he could play his games on. DH ran this by the ex wife and once again, she shot it down. She says she has a laptop that DSS can use and he doesn't want his own. But he told me last year that he has asked for a laptop (from his mom) the past two years. So I KNOW he wants one. He will be in high school next year and I think it would be useful for him to have his own computer then as well, so why not use this Christmas as an opportunity to give it to him? The ex wife is very overbearing (listens to DSS' conversations with DH and will quickly get on the phone to speak with DH in the middle of the conversations if she wants to interject) and I think the crux of the issue is she wants control over DSS with him having to ask her for her laptop. He clearly wants one, and it's a reasonable gift. DSS also likes an NFL team- last year, we got him the jersey of his favorite player. I suggested to DH we do something similar this year as one of his gifts. Ex wife does not want us to do that because she is taking him to one of their games as part of his gift from her and I guess doesn't want our NFL gift "competing" with hers? It's just exhausting. I feel like I try so hard every year to get DSS presents that he will actually like and that are "good" presents and ex-wife just shoots us down. I don't see why DH has to give her veto power- how does it work in your family? Does each side just get the kids what they want and that's that? If one parent says no to a gift for an arbitrary reason (not a good reason, such as giving an M rated video game to a 6 year old or something), do you respect the wishes or just get the gift anyway?

It sucks. I enjoy shopping for my DSS and I really love the satisfaction that comes with getting someone a gift they really love. At this point, it feels like all ex-wife will "approve" is crap he isn't going to want just so her gifts look better, or so that we come off as cheapskates who never get him anything good. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics