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Reply to "Starting to set boundaries but no one respects them"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because they're used to the old you. Ingrained dynamics between people are really hard to break. That's what happens when adult siblings return to the family home for the Holidays, and ancient rivalries and hierarchies resurface like no time has passed at all. You will actually have to enact severe consequences for them to believe the new you, OP. [/quote] Everyone is used to me giving in, taking responsibility, taking on the work. I can't do it anymore. [b]How do I get people to step up?[/b] Mostly the issue is H, when I tried to set boundaries, he started becoming aggressive and absuive (verbally, but still). I am thinking divorce is the only solution. It's been a year.[/quote] See above. Setting boundaries is not about making other people change. Boundaries are about YOUR actions. You refuse to take on any more work. If your dh is abusive you need counseling and probably need to separate. [/quote]
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