Reply to My abusive father - options as an adult?

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[quote=Anonymous]My father, 83, has been emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive to me my whole life. My older sister has also been verbally and emotionally abused, but not to the extent that I have been.

He was placed in a rehab hospital a couple weeks ago because he can't walk. Since he arrived he has been verbally and emotionally abusive to staff, including shouting racist remarks and hurling objects their direction, and refuses to do any activity that would benefit him physically (PT and OT). Insurance is about to kick him out because he refuses to make progress.

My sister and I have tried everything to help. He refuses any help we offer. I know he is scared and frustrated, and likely has early stage dementia, but the way he is treating everyone is next level.

Today I was verbally abused again on the phone then disowned and hung up on.

Can my sister and I just walk away? I think of his situation and think others have had to be in his shoes and they didn't have kids or family members who can help. This is taking a toll on our health, families, and our own relationships.

But I know if we walk away he has no other support and I really don't know what happens to him. We have called APS and they have a social worker familiar with his case, but that is about it.

When do you get to say "no more" to a parent? I have tremendous guilt walking away from him but I can't do this anymore. [/quote]

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