Reply to Most schools aren’t pressure cookers parents just add pressure

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry for all the typos and grammar errors.

Most of the schools that DCUM thinks of as the big 3 Holton, Sidwell, GDS, etc are also considered “pressure cookers”. I’ve recently had a conversation with my kids(they have graduated high school) asking about the pressure cooker stuff and [b]they said the school isn’t putting pressure on them that much[/b] but all the pressure and anxiety they had was from parents expecting them to do good.

Has anyone else has this conversation with their kids? And how do you realize when you put to much pressure? What if the pressure breaks the child?[/quote]

:roll: You have a small sample size, OP, and apparently not much by way of critical thinking skills.

The schools create pressure by generating a ridiculous workload that requires near-perfect time management skills. Which most adolescents don’t have. They then differentiate a group of extremely bright students by testing at a level of difficulty beyond what is taught in class.

The kids who do well under these circumstances are the ones who are so brilliant at a particular subject they are putting in additional work just because they love it — or (about 99% of the time) they have tutors or parents with the knowledge and skills to tutor them.

Additionally, the kids know what is at stake: admission to the top colleges. They don’t need their parents to tell them. They compete with one another. It’s curious how quickly everyone knows who had the highest grade.

Do parents contribute to the pressure?  Of course they do. Suggesting they are the only ones generating pressure is asinine.

If you’re a smart parent you figure out how to help your child achieve what they want to achieve. It’s when the child doesn’t own it or a when a child who is smart but not brilliant tries to compete with kids who are brilliant that they break under the stress.

Working harder doesn’t solve every problem. Some kids just process and think faster, which makes the school load somewhat more manageable. Others have to put 2-3 times the amount of hours to accomplish the same tasks. Guess who is stressed to the point of breaking?

If the Big 3 is not a good fit for your child, get them out. Unless they’re in the top 25%, they’re going to mediocre colleges anyway. Better for them to be in an environment where they’re happy and maybe in the top 25% at a less competitive school.[/quote]

Any organization that "breaks" children in the name of producing some uber-elite youth cadre can be fairly called sad and demented, even if some think they are necessary. I taught in one and now teach in a school completely the opposite.

You couldn't pay me double my current salary to be part of that again.[/quote]

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