Reply to husband and I handle disagreements differently. Need serious advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my husband and I get into arguments, he shuts down and says he needs space and time. So, he ignores me all day (I do not reach out to him because I know he will not respond and will take it as me disrespecting what he needs). I get no phone call, no text, he wont be in the same room as me at home, will interact with the kids in front of me but will not speak or look or interact with me. This can go on for a day, sometimes 2. It hurts me so much. I am the type that if there is a disagreement or argument, I want to handle it right then and there. I can not take being someones wife and being ignored. I know that we are both not right yet not right for our needs but how do we cope? I told him many times, it is ok to take a break but I need reassurance when you decide to do that. For instance, tell me you love me but you are hurt and need space but will get back to me in two hours. He does not say or do that. He says, "I need to protect and handle me first." "I can not be there for you if I am not there for me." Please do not suggest therapy. We tried, we failed, and that option is no longer on the table. I dont even care if you tell me that I am at fault, but someone, please help me. I can not take this.[/quote]

Maybe realize you can't use arguments as a way to get what you want, you are not going to beat him into submission by "arguing" about something on and on. A lot of "arguing" is just one person saying the same thing over and over  louder and louder and expecting a different answer than what was first provided. [/quote]

OP here. I appreciate your comment but there is nothing that I want. Our disagreement is about the education of our children. We see things differently. To me, that is ok but for him, it is not. I cant change my thinking or view. I value his opinion and let him lead most of the time but I need to be able to state my opinion too even if just to be heard. No one is loud. I think you are projecting your arguments onto mine. He shuts down. I do not want to shut down and carry the same conversation over to the next day and the next because someone decides they need 24 hours not to themselves but away from me.[/quote]

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