Reply to How can I stop ruminating this event that happened decades ago?

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[quote=Anonymous]When I was 25, I had a really awful experience at work. It’s hard to explain but I’ll try.

I had a task to work on while my boss was out of town. A man who was acting as my boss in her absence, told me not to work on the task and to work on something else instead. Unbeknownst to me, he recruited help from one of my coworkers and finished the task himself. When my actual boss returned, he threw me under the bus, acted clueless, and blamed me for my laziness, saying he had to do my work for me.

It was awful and the situation really bruised my confidence. It didn’t help that I had to see him occasionally and he always gave me this look, like a barely noticeable head shake, like I was a huge disappointment.

I’m 45 now and have had multiple jobs between that one and where I am now, which is in a completely different career field altogether. I can see that man for exactly the type of man he is, and I know exactly how I would deal with that sort of interaction today. But every time I think of that situation now, I become that 25yo girl again.

And I think of it often. It’ll just come to my mind and I’ll feel ashamed and embarrassed and confused. It’s palpable. And I have no idea why I do this to myself. But I want to stop ruminating over this. In the great scheme of things, this one thing at a meaningless job means nothing. If anything, it helped me grow.

So why do I do this? Maybe if I know why, it’ll help me stop. [/quote]

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