Reply to Identical twin girls size difference starting to cause body issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was the “big” twin. Even if “tiny” and “bigger” or “average” are accurate words, a standard 8 year old has the intelligence to know which adjectives are valuable and which aren’t. My mom would pretend to dismiss people’s comment about my tiny cute twin and brush them off, but her body language and facial expression gave her away every time. She absolutely relished the status that having a tiny, cute attractive kid gave her. She would dress us in coordinated outfits, but if there was a cuter color or fabric or set, it always went to my sister. Her argument was that it was hard to be small and she was only trying to make my sister feel better.

Even worse, my mom made comments during my teen years about how my tiny twin needed to eat more and gain weight, and then would look at me with a pointed silence and give me more vegetables or something. I never got new shoes and only ever had rental skates and skis because “who knows when you’ll stop growing”, but tiny twin got them because they were small? It went on and on.

I grew up and ended up with an eating disorder and live 3000 miles from my mom. The crazy thing is that I’m a small adult and was always a small child! I stopped growing in 6th grade and photos from back then are crazy- I was really not big.

Don’t compare and don’t even subconsciously relish the attention the small one gets.[/quote]

I had parents who did this to my sister and me and we were not even twins. I was a healthy weight and my parents convinced me I was chubby when my bmi was a 21. I don’t know why my parents did this. It truly shocks me as a woman who now has her own daughter and would never say one word to her about her appearance other than to tell her how beautiful she is. [/quote]

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