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[quote=Anonymous]This is definitely a tough situation. It sounds a little bit like there is an emphasis on being "nice" and "kind" among your DD and most of her peers but honestly, that is not always the preferred or appropriate response especially if someone is being hurtful and intentionally terrible to others.

I'd coach DD on reacting appropriately when someone is being nasty. Maybe role play a few scenarios.

Larla: *spouts nonsense*
DD: [pause] .... Wow ... why would you say something like that?" 
Larla: Because it's true!
DD: Um, ok first of all that's your opinion. Second, you don't have to express every opinion you have. Especially to someone who is supposed to be your friend.

Or ... super slowly ...  "What? .... Could you say that again?" (not because your DD misheard, but to let those words actually come out and breathe a bit, if that makes sense) .... what a ... strange ... thing to say.

Or: "Seriously? You just said that? To someone who is your friend?"

Also, a well timed widening of the eyes and saying "Yikes" can go a long way.

If Larla doesn't respond to the above, which I think of as addressing it but not fully calling out, maybe she does need to be called out. Something like: Larla, I like you and would like to stay friends with you but sometimes you say things that are just plain mean. What's up with that? [/quote]

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