Reply to Resentment/regret re difficult son

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[quote=Anonymous]My son, who is 21, has been really difficult since birth.  Extreme colic as a baby and a highly sensitive and volatile child. Teen years were a nightmare. Reckless behavior, weed, alcohol, etc beyond normal teenage experimenting or use.  We’ve tried since he was little to give him better outlets and tools to regulate his emotions.  Therapy, sports, adhd treatment, etc.  we are close despite all of this.

I am currently with him in his college town as yet another crisis/meltdown experience.

The drugs have progressed to mainly marijuana but Ketamine, MDMA, Xanax on occasion (to my knowledge)

He’s getting by in school. He seems to struggle with maintaining friendships and has had a long term very volatile relationship with his girlfriend.

He’s quick to anger and has a baseline that is just pretty negative and unhappy

He refuses depression meds or therapy

We’ve tried to talk to him about the fact that he is already “treating” his depression and other challenges with drugs/self medicating

I am tired. Literally every day with him growing up was hard and when he left for college it gave me some space to really see how much he impacted my marriage, which almost fell apart, my daughter, our family, and myself.

I’m finding myself resentful about all of this which I obviously don’t want to feel.

Not sure what my question is other than any advice from others who may have dealt with similar? [/quote]

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