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[quote=Anonymous]I am a dad, and when we found out that our second (and intended last) child was also a girl, I went for a drive and sobbed in a parking lot for 15 minutes.  I read somewhere that this gender disappointment is like grieving, and I did feel like a son (or the hope of one) died.  I thought about how I would never have that father-son bond, like the one that I shared with my father who had died 5 years prior.

However, had I had two boys, I probably would have be sobbing about not having a girl, as well, since I greedily want the experience of bonding with both genders.

After that 15 minutes of sobbing, I never really thought about it that much again.  When I see both my girls, and how much they get along, I mostly have no remorse and feel no loss.  If I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing.  In fact, I am very glad to have two girls now.

So, of course I understand that your husband could be disappointed.  We all probably have our preferences, however slight or hidden they may be.  I think it is normal, as I think your concern is normal.   I am glad that he is being honest with himself and you.

The trickier and harder part may be if he never gets a son.  After my first girl was born (btw my wife sobbed with joy and relief when we discovered this, as if a biopsy came back negative...clearly she had a preference, too), I was glad (hoping to have one of each gender, with the girl coming first).  But when the second one was a girl, meaning not a boy, and I knew we were stopping at 2...it meant never a boy, never a son.  I had to re-evlauate all my biases and hopes, and trust that I could bond with a girl as well as I could with a boy, and that they could bond with me as much as I was imagining a son would bond with me.

But it is also scary for me, knowing men and this world, to have girls.   I fear it will be more vulnerability and more work for me and wife to try to ensure that my girls will be able to take care of themselves and manage a society that doesn't always view them as equal.[/quote]

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