Reply to Walk me through dealing with incredibly moody rude 11 year old

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[quote=Anonymous]Break it down.

“I understand you are a teenager and your body feels out of control and you need a space to figure that out.  That is ok.”

“However, if you are rude I will not respond to you.  If you need to vent that is fine but don’t expect me to engage with you when you are like that.”

“Separately let me make it clear what the minimum standards are.  Physically pushing someone, throwing things, being cruel to others, etc will not be tolerated.  In that case x will happen.”

X needs to be something important to her and you must follow through every single time.

I tell my kids all the time that I understand it is hard to be a teenager and I chalk a lot of stuff up to just hormones and teenage complexity.  Not every hill is worth dying on but that is not free license to do whatever to whoever.

Slamming doors in anger= first time a warning then I take your door away.  Problem behavior extinguish quickly at least for most neurotypical kids if you just respond calmly and make the lines of expectations bright, but you have to be consistent or you will make it worse.[/quote]

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