Reply to What to do with middle aged husband who desperately wants another child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he won't even consider alternatives (adoption, donor egg and surrogacy), [b]then he's essentially saying that his desire for a biological child trumps your legit health concerns[/b] (not to mention the psychological tolls all the miscarriages have on you). This is a hard no for me.

FWIW, my DH also came from a large family and always wanted 4 kids. For various reasons we ended up with 2, and had to go through a lot to even conceive those 2. My health took a toll and I told DH in no uncertain terms that I was done having children. It was not ideal but he accepted it as he did not want to jeopardize my health or mess up a good thing we already have. Had he been pushy about it, I would seriously consider divorce. [/quote]

This. I'd be pretty damn pissed if my H felt this way.

I nearly died from our second kid and was told by my OB I should absolutely never get pregnant again. H comes from a big family (6 kids) and is 100% against me ever having more kids because of the risks.

I would sit your H down and explain to him in excruciating detail what IVF would entail for you, along with all the physical and emotional effects, and express deep concern that he is okay with you undergoing all of that. I'd probably also say that I need to know if his desire for more kids trumps his concern for my well-being, because I need to be prepared if he decides to bail to start family #2.[/quote]

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