Reply to What things are you sensitive about seeing, because you've personally dealt with them?

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[quote=Anonymous]When a family has 3 or more kids and one kid gets ignored all the time or the parents only ever say "oh yeah Larlo is great because we never have to worry about him." I was the ignored kid no one ever had to worry about and around 35 I realized this screwed me up big time because I totally internalized the idea that my job in life is to be invisible and never have problems.

Also have radar for dominant siblings who are highly critical and teasing passive siblings a lot (and parents who ignore this behavior or even back it up, "Your sister's right, you are being a brat right now").

Lots of subtle family dynamics that I think a lot of people view as within the range of normal and not particularly dysfunctional or abusive, but that really screwed me up in frustrating ways. Recently a good friend of mine had a third kid and I see this stuff happening and it's really triggering. I am torn between wanting to intervene (say something to my friend, go out of my way to help the kid who I can see getting lost in the shuffle) and not wanting to spend any time with their family because it is very upsetting to me and no one understands why.[/quote]

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