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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My child did not start noticeably stimming until they were older, however we have discussed frankly that she should limit it in public.  At home is fine but if she wants to maximize her options in the world it is something she needs to mask as much as reasonably possible.

I can believe 100% that everyone should be embraced as they are, however that is simply not true in the world we live in.  It feels like it would be a disservice to my child to not explain that clearly.

Due to ASD it is unlikely she would pick this up on her own.  If she wants to stim anyway I won’t stop her but I believe it is my job as a parent to be really clear and transparent in areas she might not pick up otherwise.[/quote]

This is us too. Ds is very highly capable in certain things (academics, motor skills etc) but low capability in social skills plus the stimming. He likes to stim, but it’s really not necessary for his happy functioning. So I have no problem calling out his social deficits (including stimming) and tell him to dial it down or save it for private times. Honestly his stimming drives his dad and me nuts at  this point (his is loud!) and he should know that. Again, if he really needed it to self soothe, I wouldn’t be so hard. But he doesn’t; he should know that the world is going to treat him differently if he engages in some behaviors. He’s 13 now, and often stims in his room after school but keeps it away from us. I’m okay with that. [/quote]

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