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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our parents are still independent, but we had a conversation that is making me think: What do we owe our aging parents in terms of staying close by? They made it clear to us that being nearby is important as they age, that it is our responsibility to look after them, and that we should not move away until they are gone.

Given that they had us young and the longevity in our family, it’s conceivable that we could be caring for them until we ourselves are 80 or so.

We reassured them that if we decided to make a move out of state after we retire, [b]we would either ask them to relocate with us or make sure they had care in the form of assisted living or in-home aides[/b]. I don’t think they liked this answer.

I understand that it’s important to look after our parents, but does that mean sacrificing our own desires in terms of where to live???

[/quote]

I can see why they don't like the latter....but if they are unwilling to take you up on the former, then your obligation ends.

I will agree with someone else that you aren't doing yourself any favors if you move away and then spend tons of time and money traveling back because they get sick.  You have to make the decision that you won't do that.

The problem that I think many families have is that how do you know the relocation is permanent?  I respect my in-laws that mentioned they would have no problem moving near us, but we have moved so many times for various job opportunities that they have no idea if we are finally done or not.[/quote]

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