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[quote=Anonymous]I think the school is handling this very poorly.

A discussion about what they could do better both if you stay or for others if you don’t would be warranted. Guilt tripping you isn’t.

Second, unless you told development, they shouldn’t know or at least act on the information. I understand that schools tend to be small communities, but they should not say a word unless the pledge when it was promised to come through doesn’t.

Third, unless your family has told someone not within the school that got back to the volunteer, the volunteer should not know.

The point of all of this is: yes it happened to my family many years ago. I was in the position of your daughter. It was jarring, because I got pulled out of math class and sent to the principal’s office and given the 6th grade equivalent of a KGB interrogation. It took me 15 minutes to realize I didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe they’re treating your daughter the same way? After that, my mother basically said to the administration in succession when they brought it up: “this is our choice.” “I do not feel like discussing this with you.” “If you would like to continue this line of conversation, I’m afraid we’ll have to reconvene at a later date.” If they continue to guilt trip you, then thank them for their time and leave/hang up.

To development, I would keep it brief, informative, and friendly, “has the check not come on time?” Or “Did the check clear?” They should say “no” and when they do, tell them “let me know when it doesn’t” and hang up. If they bring up next year, then say “All options are open to me. I will let you know when I have made our financial decisions around charitable giving. I would appreciate my privacy until then.”

To the volunteer, just smile and say nothing. If the volunteer insists on a response, “the school was here before me and it’ll be here after me.”

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