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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think they realize this about themselves, OP. They think well enough of you to befriend you, and then perhaps they some remarks escape them when referring to you when you're not there.

I have a very generous, kind-hearted, friend. Sometimes she has a few choice words when she talks about her other friends. She judges certain things about them. I'm sure she judges certain things about me, that she's shared with others. But every time any of us are in trouble, she's there for us: she cares for children of friends who have to go to hospital, she visits me when I'm sick and sends gifts of stuff she knows I like. I drove her to her chemo appointments. Actions matter more than words.

Autism makes it really hard to finely judge in these situations, OP, I know that. It's hard to distinguish gentle ribbing from a mean joke. It's difficult to weigh how to talk about people when they're not there. I think the bottom line is whether they're here for you when you need their help, and whether you're there for them when they need your help. [/quote]

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