Reply to Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?

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Reply to "Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Other people are going to judge your choices no matter what you do. Married, single, one kid, none/several, WOHM/SAHM... Be an adult and make the decision that's best for you and yours and let other people have their crappy take. What other people think of you is none of your business. If you live somewhere that hasn't caught on to that yet, move.

Single moms get judged before anyone bothers to ask why we're single. Married women often see single moms as a threat, as if we're actively looking for a (new) partner. They don't care if we had one previously and divorced or chose single motherhood from the jump. We are single now, and that's the thing they're judging. While I suppose the mate-poaching thing does happen, most of the single moms I know (and definitely the one I am) are not at all interested. We're too busy focusing on our kids. But, again, those who will judge will judge. They're not going to take the time to chat you up about it either, as the specifics don't really make much of a difference to them. Thank them for revealing their true colors, and ignore them.

What you need to be worried about here is custody and support. As pps upthread pointed out: it's his kid whether you're married or not. Not having to file for a divorce may save you some trouble, but he can drag you to court about custody (and, if he's an argumentative type, he probably will). And while you say you can pay for your child's needs alone, child support would be something your child (not you) was entitled to. Although, again, there's another thing to argue about. [/quote]

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