Reply to 4th grader isolated at school and in group settings

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "4th grader isolated at school and in group settings"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went through this in 4th grade, but it was really intense, complete with horrible nicknames and getting punched repeatedly.  A friend that I knew from the riding stables apologized for snubbing me at the swimming pool, saying, "I'm sorry, but, you know. (Insert horrible nickname here.)"

I would take others' advice and really try to get to the bottom of this, because the effects can really be brutal.[/quote]

I've tried talking to her more but it mostly devolves into tears where she says the popular girl who doesn't like her is mean and pretends she's not there.  I think this other girl has a lot of influence and other kids want to be in with her, so maybe that travels over to other friend groups.  DD says she is alone at recess with the odd day when another girl will come talk to her, that other girls won't let her into their "club" to play, so she is asking to stay at home and just read books.  When similar complaints came up last year I asked the teacher to see if she noticed anything and keep an eye on things (but today my daughter said I should have never mentioned it to the teacher because the teacher essentially outed her in class by naming the other girl and saying loudly to let her know if the other girl was being mean).  So she has asked me not to raise the issue with the teacher or other parents.  I really don't know how to get to the bottom of it.  Feeling pretty powerless at the moment to help.

PP who was bullied - did you tell your parents?  Did they know the extent of it?  Did you ask them to pull you from school and your parents ignored it?[/quote]

She needs to stop trying to be in this group.  In elementary school my daughter was best friends with the meanest girl in school.   Every teacher told me that my daughter was never involved in bullying but since they were always together she sometimes was lumped in with her and other nasty ones.

I asked my daughter about one specific girl, Gia,  whose mother complained a lot.  My daughter told me that the Gia always wanted to play with them and the mean girl, Trixie, would say no.  They would fight back and forth.   Gia never tried to play with other groups.  There were groups who couldn’t care less what the “popular” group was doing.  Gia had other options but wouldn’t give up on Trixie accepting her.

I’ve seen girls whose mothers I’m close with and they pursue girls who they have nothing common with instead of finding the ones who they could be having a great time with.

In our schools girls who play sports are not the popular ones.  They usually hang out together. In high school the popular girls are not particularly known for anything, just random in every way.   They have something in common I guess.  You have to find your people. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics