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[quote=Anonymous]No ideas but we have the same situation with our 4th grader at a private. I’ve tried to convince her to switch to our zoned public or homeschooling while she applies out to no avail.

What I see happening in my DD’s case is that her classmates are all at very different points in maturity and development, but the oldest/biggest/ones with older siblings set the tone during the school day. Girls who are chill and kind and want to play like little girls on weekends act totally differently when they’re around the queen bees during the school day. Girls who are more academically oriented are pinched from both sides- they’re expected to be quiet and behave by teachers who have their hands full with boys and behavioral situations, and they’re seen as unfun by the other girls.

I sometimes volunteer at lunch and can see the dynamics unfold on the playground while we are cleaning up.

Here’s the thing: DD doesn’t want to act differently and it’s important to her and she’s said so. I don’t think there is a solution for girls not willing to play along, and it’s ok to say that the popularity game is not for them. I tell DD to focus on having just one friend, one person to sit with, and one person to play with. And if she has more than that, it’s a win. [/quote]

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