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[quote=Anonymous]I have a one year old and in my head I always thought I would have 2 children but the thought of having another fills me with dread.  I just don't know how other people do it.  My baby is generally pretty easy, although she has her moments.  I just have not enjoyed parenting like I thought I would.  I love my baby but the newborn stage was just horrible. I hated it.  Breastfeeding was the worst even though it came easily to me.  Each stage has been better and better past 6 months, and I definitely enjoy the toddler period more than the baby period.  I actually loved every second of being pregnant and I would be fine with giving birth again, but the thought of doing this first year again, this time with another child's needs to attend to, just seems horrible.

I feel like I'm a good mother and my baby is well taken care of and happy, but I feel like such a failure that I don't think I could handle more.  This is especially true because I have an easy life, my husband helps out a lot, money isn't a concern, and we both have very flexible jobs.  I just feel like parenting is so all consuming that I don't have anything left.  My husband is much more open to the idea of having just one child than I am. He thinks it's best to not even think about having a second until our baby turns two, and I agree with him, but I've become obsessed with trying to figure out how other people make it work.  I also feel stressed about time since I am in my late 30s.  I had an easy time conceiving at 37 but obviously I don't know if that will still be the case later.  Lately on my social media feeds I've been seeing pictures of women with 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 kids with the caption saying "this is what peak female performance looks like."  It is obviously propaganda and from my own observation of family members with tons of kids I know those women aren't happy all of the time and a lot of the kids are miserable as well but I still feel so shitty for only feeling like I can handle one. I know, I know, get off social media and I block those posts when I see them but the thoughts still creep in.

Anyway, has anyone else felt the same and ending up having a second?  How did that go?  Are you happy with your decision? [/quote]

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