Reply to Hostess Etiquette - how do you both serve and sit with guests?

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Reply to "Hostess Etiquette - how do you both serve and sit with guests?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I hosted a dinner for about 8 family members on New Year's Eve.  Usually my MIL does it, but I decided to take a turn this year since her kitchen is undergoing some work.  I planned a meal similar to MIL's - salad, soup, and finger foods set out on the table, where normally people sit and eat and chat for about an hour while she finishes heating up the main dishes. Then she sets them all out on a buffet table and calls everyone to come get a plate.  People get a plate and sit where they want.

But that's not what happened when I did it.  Instead, no one ate the salad, soup, appetizers, or other foods I had set out on the table.  They said they were waiting for me to sit down.  I asked them to please go ahead and start while I finished preparing the main dishes, but they just sat there.  So I was rushing around with everyone sitting and staring at me (not even chatting) while I tried to get all the dishes heated and plated as fast as possible.  I had to abandon the idea of a buffet table and put it on the dining table, because it was clear no one was going to move.  It was incredibly stressful and uncomfortable.  So I started setting things out one thing at a time, and still they would not begin until I managed to get every single thing hot and plated and finally sit down myself. I was completely frazzled and exhausted by then.

I can't figure out what went wrong.  How does one have everything plated and hot and served all at once, and also sit down and eat so that guests will eat?  What did I do wrong?[/quote]

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