Reply to Keeping Your Sanity as the "Pick Up the Slack" Partner

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Reply to "Keeping Your Sanity as the "Pick Up the Slack" Partner"

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[quote=Anonymous]I hear you OP. It honestly sounds like your DH takes more initiative than mine-- I'd be thrilled if my spouse took the initiative to book a restaurant or an excursion during a vacation. Usually he will read some stuff online or talk to coworkers who have been to the same place right before we travel and then pass those suggestions along, but the expectation is that I will be the one to figure out logistics.

But we have the same issues with everything needing to be a joint decision even if I'm doing all the legwork, and with him frequently criticizing the stuff I choose (flights, hotels, cars, most meals and activities) but I must be unequivocally supportive if anything he suggested (even when I am the one who had to book it) or he'll say "well nevermind, next time I won't contribute if I'm just going to be criticized.").

I think the problem is that we set the ideal if egalitarian marriage and we made sure women had the tools for it (including the education and ability to make half the money) but we put literally no effort into getting mem the skills to truly do half. Some men have the organizational and communication skills to do what housewives traditionally did, but most don't and there are no social consequences for it. Whereas women face social consequences if they can't or don't do this stuff.[/quote]

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