Reply to Keeping Your Sanity as the "Pick Up the Slack" Partner

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Reply to "Keeping Your Sanity as the "Pick Up the Slack" Partner"

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[quote=Anonymous]Does every relationship have one? Is this a modern problem because we are all trying to not live in the 1950s and share responsibility? I really appreciate how involved both DH and I are in our family and kids' lives, and he's an amazing dad, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier if we just totally divided and conquered. Like, if we are planning a vacation and try to do it together, we both pick the destination, and then he just cherry-picks or swoops in with bits and pieces ("oh! I booked ziplining for the second day!" and "ooh, here's a nice hotel that would work," meaning that I should book it) while I feel like I silently have to do the mundane -- actually booking flights, figuring out transportation, etc. Things that I plan are allowed to be critiqued in the name of providing fair input, but anything he proposes is sacred and untouchable because "I was just trying to help, you don't have to be so critical." Details get completely lost and it stresses me out to feel like he gets to "help" while I have to actually execute. But if I try to completely leave something to him -- "It sounds like you've given DD's birthday party a lot of thought, I say go ahead and book whatever you think is best!" -- he accuses me of not helping and setting him up to fail. It's exhausting. Like I said, I would rather just purely divide and conquer.[/quote]

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