Reply to AuDHD/gifted 9-yr old behavior escalating

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm so sorry. This is really hard. I know the PP is being snarky, so I'll ask in seriousness - does he have PDA? ODD? Are the outbursts related to being told to do or not do something, or more generally happening throughout the day?

The morning sounds like a particular trigger time and stressful for everyone. My guess is that he is feeling anxiety about school and maybe subconsciously trying to get into enough trouble to avoid or delay it (?). Can you take some of the pressure off? Can you take one kid to school and your partner take the other? Can you be late for work and maybe also school for a week or two? It sounds to me like he needs one of you adults to be with him the entire morning, so that may mean getting up earlier so you can get dressed and attend to your own needs. He cannot be left alone or with your other kid while I get ready - at least not right now.

What have you tried? Positive rewards for getting out of the house on time and not engaging in certain behavior? Could he take his ADHD meds earlier in the morning- maybe that's contributing to getting off track? Is his anxiety med dose at the level it should be?

You also need to proof your home. All sharp objects get locked away. Anything he could throw and really hurt someone with gets put away. Etc.

And the younger kid needs to be supervised, too. He cannot be left alone with the brother.

Are there stressors at school? Influences from videos or other kids? My kid had a very very hard time around this age, too - some of it might be stress of social environment getting harder and more confusing for someone with ASD at this age. Work closely with the therapist and be honest about everything that is happening. Come up with some plans together. Good luck.[/quote]

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