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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Help a bonus mom out - I don't know what to do here"
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[quote=Anonymous]As another bonus mom, you can't do anything but be there to neutrally support the child. You can't push your DH as it's his place to determine how to interact with the ex. You also can't step in and say anything to the child as you will always be the bad person. They are going to have conflicted loyalty to the mother no matter what. Also, there is no real action to take. The courts aren't going to do anything in a situation like this, and it sounds like talking to the mom won't have positive outcomes. As someone who has also been a child in a situation like this, just be kind and caring and NEVER say anything negative about the mom in front of any of your kids or even if they are in the house. They will hear, it will get back to them, and they will internalize their emotions about those comments. It can also impact relationships as they get older. It sucks, I know, but just be there for the child as a stable, calm, and supportive presence. [/quote]
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