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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not a case of age and forgetfulness, my mother in the last year will just not reply sometimes when you ask a direct question.

For example, let’s say she is coming over around lunch time. I text asking if I should plan for her to have lunch here. Multiple times over the course of the day, I’ve asked that question and there is no response but she’ll respond to other things.

I would usually say fine and she’ll have figure it out when she gets here. But then she’ll get here and complain about what we all should be eating. And it’s a waste of time.

She approaching retirement and more stressed than usual but this avoidance is happening all the time. Her communication is so selective these days  and it’s bizarre. There was one time I was sitting next to her during dinner and[b] I asked if she needed butter or a napkin or something[/b] and she literally acted like he didn’t hear me. I said it several times and then finally I tapped her and said “mom are you there!”

She and I have had a strained relationship over the past few years (she’s lied to me a lot but definitely out of avoidance/fear vs out of malice). Despite that still we communicate almost daily over the phone.

I think in some ways she doesn’t want to respond to “burden” me with a task (like making lunch). But it’s so much more of a burden when she doesn’t respond. The whole thing is really bizarre and I want to address it soon because the more it happens, I just build up even more resentment around the ways she’s treated me.

Anyone else BTDT? It’s a strange one.

[/quote]

Seems like you were trying to force her to talk. Anyone at any dinner would initiate a "pass me the butter" conversation for themselves. For you to initiate then not let go means you wanted to force the interaction for some reason. [/quote]

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