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[quote=Anonymous]MIL has lived with us now 3 years with worsening Alzheimer’s. She is still able to do self care but cannot take pills and is a fall risk.

It is mainly her ST memory and falling that’s an issue. We do have some companion help.

She is such an emotional drain on us. I would never verbalize it, but I keep thinking about how much easier our lives will be after she is gone.

I know I am a horrible person. I don’t say these things to anyone else, because I am embarrassed that I am a terrible human being.

I want to be grateful that she is still with us and celebrate her life and that we are able to help. I don’t know how to be positive about it.

I put on a good show and my friends call me a saint, DH is thankful that I welcomed her into our home and help out. I spend a lot of time with her in the evenings and weekends helping her knit or playing cards.

She was never a warm person or particularly easy or fun to be around. She is not mean, but she isn’t pleasant either. That doesn’t give me the right to wish she wasn’t around.

What can I do to change my perspective? I didn’t try therapy online and the advice was, “get your DH to agree to put her in a memory care unit. She will be gone, but not GONE.”

That is not possible right now for a variety of reasons that I won’t bore you with right now. The online therapist said, “give your husband an ultimatum. Either she goes, or you.” That seemed pretty drastic and I don’t want to leave DH, and never said anything to that affect.

I just need a better attitude but whenever i try, I end up even more exhausted.
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