Reply to Can anyone tell me about their adult DC with neurotypical-passing ASD?

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Reply to "Can anyone tell me about their adult DC with neurotypical-passing ASD?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH is the adult version of your son. I agree that it is harder to slip by unnoticed with social media and how intensely connected everyone is, but I also think that “passing” matters far less than it used to.

DH definitely shares your DS’s traits of being self-focused and seeing himself as the victim. Actually, the word victim isn’t quite accurate- more like he has a reflexive need to deflect blame or blame others (even in situations where there is no blame to be shifted). His mom is from a culture that doesn’t acknowledge autism, but she has acknowledged that DH is different. She says that she wishes she had made him do more around the house and have more responsibility beyond homework and sports. I agree with that- it would have helped DH see that his needs are not there for everyone else to meet. My MIL is always blaming other people in my DH’a childhood for things that happened. So maybe a family script that expresses personal accountability would have been useful?

Anyway, don’t rule out relationships but please be gentle and generous with your future DIL if you have one. I love DH but his behavior has sometimes made me really lonely.[/quote]

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