Reply to Can you recommend a family therapist? We need help with MIL.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MIL will not change. 
YOU can only change your reaction to her, to lower your expectations, stress and anxiety.

Say you only see her if the whole family gets together, at Christmas, for example. 
Then she can work the room and may not even get to you! If she does, let the comments roll off you and stare at her without comment if she starts being nasty. Witnesses helps a lot.

If she is as poisonous as you say, I would NOT get together with her with just DH and the kids.[/quote]

I agree we cannot change her even though that would be my dream. I think I need to let go of that.  I'd love to follow your suggestions re: holidays but the problem is that DH is an only child, and my ILs do not host ANY holidays (or dinners or anything) due to some issues with their house (borderline hoarding issues) so every holiday is at our house.  There's no one else in the room to 'work' other than us and our kids.  She isn't nasty to my face; she does all her work behind my back.          [/quote]

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