Reply to Can attraction grow with a new person? Or don't even go down that path?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Can attraction grow with a new person? Or don't even go down that path?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Be honest with yourself.  Often, women in your place try to make it work and eventually leave because they can't overcome the lack of spark.  Don't do that.  Accept him for what he is, if you can. [/quote]

This kind of thinking gives people far too little time to get to know each other AS people. OP, the intense emphasis this forum has on "you must have spark, you must feel physical attraction for sure within one date/three dates/X months/whatever formula" actually discourages people here, usually women, from getting to know people better.

Yes, attraction is important, but it also can grow. I know from experience. It grows especially when the two people click intellectually, emotionally, and in terms of interests.

Before DCUM comes along to scream "But nothing matters if you aren't feeling it after one date" -- I did say, attraction matters. But how many people just write off someone wonderful because they couldn't see past the outside from the very start? My DH sure wasn't a model when we met, but we got along so well, and I took time to get to know him. When I did, attraction grew. And has lasted for more than 30 years.

OP, this would only be the second date, right? That's nothing at all. I'd go, and give it more dates than that since the connection is so solid. This forum treats dating as a meat market, really, and doesn't get that emotional and intellectual compatibility will hold a couple together through looks changing, bodies changing, adversity, and, well, real life. Date him some more, if he's getting romantic, explain that you're a slow mover, and see if attraction develops. Don't take forever of course, if it truly can't turn romantic for you, but also don't think there is a single magical number of dates after which you simply must feel attracted or you can never see him again.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics