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[quote=Anonymous]
DW and I lived in a large city about three hours away from the mid-sized city where she grew up, and her parents still live. While we enjoyed living in the big city, we knew that eventually we would move closer to her parents. However, after having our daughter in the summer of 2020 during Covid, and both of our jobs shifting to fully remote, we decided to make the move in the fall of 2021.

One thing that we've both struggled with is making friends, as we're both somewhat introverted. We had a small group of friends in our previous city, but they had mostly moved away (part of the reason that we decided to move when we did). When we moved to our new city, we struggled to make friends. We rented in a part of town that didn't have a lot of families, our daughter was going to a smaller daycare where there wasn’t a lot of parental interaction. As a result, our social life almost exclusively consisted of seeing my in laws on the weekend. To be clear, I enjoy my in laws company; they’re great people, and they have a great relationship with our daughter. That said, both DW and I were frustrated that we weren’t able to meet any friends our age. Both DW and I gre up with parents who had a strong group of family friends, and we both wanted that for our daughter as well.

In the summer of 2023, we bought a house in a neighborhood that was much more family friendly, and sent our daughter to a preschool that a lot of the neighborhood kids go to. Fast forward to now, our daughter is thriving socially, and has a good group of friends from the neighborhood. I’ve become friends either some of the Dads from the neighborhood, and we hang out every so often.

However, things haven’t gone as well for DW on the social front. She’s friendly with a few of the Moms in the school/neighborhood, but nothing beyond that. She frequently expresses frustration that she doesn’t have any friends. Here’s the thing though, I know that she enjoys the company of some of the Moms in DDs class, and I know that these Moms have asked her to have a play date with their kids, but when I’ve asked DW if she’s interested in setting up a play date, her response is always “eh I don’t really want to” or “what if my parents want to do something?”

I want to reiterate that I really don’t mind us spending all this time with her parents, but it feels like we’re constantly spending time with them instead of trying to form friendships with other parents. For what it’s worth, her parents are in good health, live independently, have an active social life, and are very supportive of us trying to build a social circle. Am I off base in being frustrated by this?I worry that these opportunities to build a social circle will pass us by.
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